Wow. It's already almost Christmas? What is going on here?!
I can't remember when it was good
moments of happiness elude
maybe I just misunderstood
all of the love we left behind
watching the flash backs intertwine
memories I will never find
so I'll love whatever you become
and forget the reckless things we've done
I think our lives have just begun
I think our lives have just begun...
Muse. I cannot wait to see you on March 17th. It will be so amazing, I honestly get giddy every time that I think about it. I haven't been to a concert in over a year now. Senior year of high school and freshman year of college, concerts were my thing. I wouldn't hesitate to throw down forty or fifty bucks to experience the beauty of a band that I loved performing live. It's an experience that either makes or breaks my love for a band. For instance, Red Hot Chili Peppers made it. (I think I still would've loved them even if they weren't good live. But it was Chili Peppers. Of course they were good live.) Chiodos made it. Angels & Airwaves were great. Saosin... not so much.
Some bands just don't put on a great live show. Muse, I have no doubt, will cause me to scream like a little girl and do multiple robot dance moves as I try to work my way up to the front of the pit. Yes, the pit. My lovely friend Jennifer is hooking me up with a pit ticket, and I owe her the world. It's going to be epic.
12.17.2009
11.30.2009
La Dinde
I think I'm more willing to sit down and write for myself when I have millions of other things I should be doing. That's why it's taken me until now, the night before hell week, to sit down and write about the lovely Thanksgiving break that I had this past week.
I made it to Carrollton in good time on Tuesday night, and arrived back here in Waco around 11 PM today. Filled with fun, family, friends, and food, this week was fairly fantastic. I was able to catch up on some sleep, ignore most of my schoolwork, and spend time with some amazing people. With both parents working on different days throughout the week, we celebrated Thanksgiving on Wednesday so Mom could cook, and enjoyed the wondrous leftovers throughout the rest of the week. She acted surprised when Grant and I demolished the sweet potato casserole by Sunday - really?! With food that delicious, no wonder it was history by the time I had to leave.
I was also able to make a recording with the help of my dad. Over the course of two days, I was able to make a decent base piano recording, and from there we just had fun. Dad sang, I sang, Grant sang, Grant played the clarinet, and I played the bass guitar. Our final version consisted of me on piano and bass guitar, and maybe over the break we'll add more layers as we come up with more ideas. I can't wait to record another song! If you want to hear it:
Now all I have to do is get through the next two and a half weeks, and then I will be Minnesota-bound for the Christmas holiday. I can't wait!
I made it to Carrollton in good time on Tuesday night, and arrived back here in Waco around 11 PM today. Filled with fun, family, friends, and food, this week was fairly fantastic. I was able to catch up on some sleep, ignore most of my schoolwork, and spend time with some amazing people. With both parents working on different days throughout the week, we celebrated Thanksgiving on Wednesday so Mom could cook, and enjoyed the wondrous leftovers throughout the rest of the week. She acted surprised when Grant and I demolished the sweet potato casserole by Sunday - really?! With food that delicious, no wonder it was history by the time I had to leave.
I was also able to make a recording with the help of my dad. Over the course of two days, I was able to make a decent base piano recording, and from there we just had fun. Dad sang, I sang, Grant sang, Grant played the clarinet, and I played the bass guitar. Our final version consisted of me on piano and bass guitar, and maybe over the break we'll add more layers as we come up with more ideas. I can't wait to record another song! If you want to hear it:
Now all I have to do is get through the next two and a half weeks, and then I will be Minnesota-bound for the Christmas holiday. I can't wait!
11.22.2009
Dreaming of You
I've been having some pretty strange dreams lately. Of course, I've always been known to have strange dreams, but they're becoming more and more realistic. For instance, last week I had a dream that I was eating lunch with some close friends when I began to choke. I literally felt like I couldn't speak or breathe. Frantic, I finally got a friend's attention and he saved me from choking to death. In another dream, Rachel came into the living room and told me that we shouldn't write on each others Facebook walls anymore. Last night I had a dream that I could perfectly drive a stick shift.
I've always been fascinated by sleep. Why do we dream what we do? Is it really subliminal thoughts being illustrated by your subconscious, or are they completely random? Sometimes I feel like there is subliminal messaging, but other times, I feel like there is no way my dreams have any connection to my life. Too many times I've had nightmares of my friends and family dying. Without Amber's decoding of my nightly adventures, I wouldn't be sure of what to think. She's informed me of symbolism such as how death can represent change, or how being saved from choking to death by a friend can mean that even when you make your own decisions, your friends will be there to back you up.
I wish I could remember more of my dreams. For now, I'll just have to do my best to get a good night's sleep.
I've always been fascinated by sleep. Why do we dream what we do? Is it really subliminal thoughts being illustrated by your subconscious, or are they completely random? Sometimes I feel like there is subliminal messaging, but other times, I feel like there is no way my dreams have any connection to my life. Too many times I've had nightmares of my friends and family dying. Without Amber's decoding of my nightly adventures, I wouldn't be sure of what to think. She's informed me of symbolism such as how death can represent change, or how being saved from choking to death by a friend can mean that even when you make your own decisions, your friends will be there to back you up.
I wish I could remember more of my dreams. For now, I'll just have to do my best to get a good night's sleep.
11.20.2009
What time is it?!
Earlier today I finally made it over to Sarah & Amanda's apartment. (One good thing about Waco - everyone lives really close to each other.) While Sarah and I were sitting and chatting about the decorations, the weekend, and the life in general, the topic of senior year came up.
At this time during my high school education, I had for the most part decided that Baylor was my first choice college. I knew that I was going to be applying to Baylor the next year, I would attend Baylor the next fall, and I would spend the next four years there. Now it's that time in college, but I feel like I have no idea what to expect after graduation. All I can think about is winter break, spring semester, and then going to France for the fall. What's supposed to happen after that???
I've never been too good about thinking too far into the future. I am a big fan of taking things one day at a time. I feel like when I plan too far ahead, there's a higher chance of things not working out. I don't think of it as a pessimistic attitude, just... cautious. Don't get me wrong though - I am so incredibly excited for what's in store for me. I'd just rather not think about it too much and enjoy the surprises as they come.
At this time during my high school education, I had for the most part decided that Baylor was my first choice college. I knew that I was going to be applying to Baylor the next year, I would attend Baylor the next fall, and I would spend the next four years there. Now it's that time in college, but I feel like I have no idea what to expect after graduation. All I can think about is winter break, spring semester, and then going to France for the fall. What's supposed to happen after that???
I've never been too good about thinking too far into the future. I am a big fan of taking things one day at a time. I feel like when I plan too far ahead, there's a higher chance of things not working out. I don't think of it as a pessimistic attitude, just... cautious. Don't get me wrong though - I am so incredibly excited for what's in store for me. I'd just rather not think about it too much and enjoy the surprises as they come.
11.19.2009
This Is It
I don't think I've jammed out that hardcore in my car for a long time.
After finally seeing Michael Jackson's "This Is It," I am truly inspired. He was such a musical genious, and it was crazy to see how much work and effort and amazing stuff in general was put towards making his final tour a dream come true. Stephanie said it best - the other dancers were damn good, but there's just something about MJ's dancing that is so completely natural. If you haven't seen the movie, it's worth renting (it stops showing in theaters tomorrow). The special effects for each song were super impressive, and watching Michael in rehearsal was something else.
Unfortunately, I had to settle for "Replay" by Sean Kingston and "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus on the drive home, but like I said... I was definitely jamming out.
After finally seeing Michael Jackson's "This Is It," I am truly inspired. He was such a musical genious, and it was crazy to see how much work and effort and amazing stuff in general was put towards making his final tour a dream come true. Stephanie said it best - the other dancers were damn good, but there's just something about MJ's dancing that is so completely natural. If you haven't seen the movie, it's worth renting (it stops showing in theaters tomorrow). The special effects for each song were super impressive, and watching Michael in rehearsal was something else.
Unfortunately, I had to settle for "Replay" by Sean Kingston and "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus on the drive home, but like I said... I was definitely jamming out.
11.17.2009
Shooting Stars
The meteors were gorgeous last night.
Staring up at the sky, laying on the edge of a cliff with a river far down below, surrounded by some amazing friends, I felt so happy. Seeing the meteors in the sky made me think about how small this planet is. There are huge chunks of fiery rocks flying past our earth, all the way out there in space. It's purely awesome.
Staring up at the sky, laying on the edge of a cliff with a river far down below, surrounded by some amazing friends, I felt so happy. Seeing the meteors in the sky made me think about how small this planet is. There are huge chunks of fiery rocks flying past our earth, all the way out there in space. It's purely awesome.
11.13.2009
Abergläubisch
Today out of all days just had to be Friday the 13th. I woke up to find that I was unable to register due to a fictitious hold on my Bearweb account. Ridiculous. I then realized at lunchtime that I had left my wallet in my car, all the way across campus. At work I totally walked through the studio when a group was filming. I went to purchase jeans at Old Navy to discover that my parents' debit card was expired. Wow. That was a lot more than I thought... only four more hours to get through!
Talking to Meghan today about boys made me start thinking about my situation even more. I haven't been in a serious relationship since March of 2007. It is now almost the year 2010. That has been way too long, in my opinion. Sure, I boast about how I love being single and only having to worry about myself and my own problems, but sometimes it's nice to have someone to talk with all the time, someone to just chill with, and someone to love on. Why is that so hard to find? Each guy that I become interested in always has some quality or another that I just can't get over- maybe he tells little white lies all the time, maybe he drinks too much, maybe we're not interested in the same things, maybe he has a girlfriend...
It gets a little frustrating after a while. I'd love to go out on little dates. I'd love to be chased after a little bit (without it being creepy and/or annoying). I'd love to be loved.
Yet I continue to hear horror stories from my friends who are in relationships, or coming out of relationships. It's scary. I've been through all of those things before, granted it was nearly three years ago. I've still experienced it. I hated it. I hated the breaking up. I hated the confusion and anger and hurt. I hated not knowing.
When I'm single, I just have me. I can't really confuse myself. I can't not communicate well with myself. But I don't have someone who will push me and challenge me to be a better person. I don't have love in my life.
Talking to Meghan today about boys made me start thinking about my situation even more. I haven't been in a serious relationship since March of 2007. It is now almost the year 2010. That has been way too long, in my opinion. Sure, I boast about how I love being single and only having to worry about myself and my own problems, but sometimes it's nice to have someone to talk with all the time, someone to just chill with, and someone to love on. Why is that so hard to find? Each guy that I become interested in always has some quality or another that I just can't get over- maybe he tells little white lies all the time, maybe he drinks too much, maybe we're not interested in the same things, maybe he has a girlfriend...
It gets a little frustrating after a while. I'd love to go out on little dates. I'd love to be chased after a little bit (without it being creepy and/or annoying). I'd love to be loved.
Yet I continue to hear horror stories from my friends who are in relationships, or coming out of relationships. It's scary. I've been through all of those things before, granted it was nearly three years ago. I've still experienced it. I hated it. I hated the breaking up. I hated the confusion and anger and hurt. I hated not knowing.
When I'm single, I just have me. I can't really confuse myself. I can't not communicate well with myself. But I don't have someone who will push me and challenge me to be a better person. I don't have love in my life.
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